Top Five Wedding Day Frustrations Couples Experience
If I had a nickel for every time a couple has said this phrase to me, “If I could go back, I would’ve done [this] differently…”
I would have a fortune. Enough that I could probably buy some land, build a house, and get a couple more dogs.
Throughout the planning process with my clients, I take on the role of “big sister”. Not in the sense that I show them how to sneak out of the house or share my hand-me-down clothes with. When we talk about their wedding, I give them that extra level of insight an older sister would give of all the things they’re going to be experiencing leading up to that day — mentally, physically, AND emotionally.
The last thing I want is for either of my clients to be unhappy on their wedding day. However, there are things beyond my control that could make or break your wedding day. So, let’s talk about the top five in my book that leave couples frustrated on their big day!
- Wild Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties: THE NIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING
“Why on Earth would anyone do this to themselves?” you might ask.
I couldn’t tell you. Aside from the obvious excessive drinking, putting themselves in hazardous situations that would destroy their monogamous partner’s trust, and overall lack of care and consideration of the wedding as a whole, participants also will have a guaranteed crappy time the next day (hangover ickies), show up late to everything, and in the event that the bride or groom participated in said hazardous events, could cause the whole wedding to be called off.
A lot of times the reason the bachelor/bachelorette party is held the night before is to save time or money. If you have friends from out of state where you can’t consistently get schedules together, it’s understandable. Instead of getting trashed, please keep it PG.
2. The Bridal Party Selection Mishap
Imagine you’re a month from your wedding and your Maid of Honor drops out of the wedding. She says that she doesn’t have the money for all the wedding-related activities you planned and wished she could afford it, but money is tight. Respectfully, she drops out of the wedding.
Now this could be avoided very early on in your wedding planning. Pay attention because it’s important.
Choose the bridesmaids that will help you execute your dream wedding day.
Your MOH and bridesmaids are the ones that will assist you in all the vital moments of your special day. They’re your biggest wedding cheerleaders, so choose people that are close to you and have your best interests at heart. A wedding is a production and you are the star. Make sure you’re casting the right people for these roles.
Be clear from the beginning. If it helps, type out a document of all the obligations you expect from your bridal party, such as:
Are they paying for their attire? Where do they get it from? Are they paying for their portion of the bachelorette party? Will it be a bachelorette weekend? Do you expect them to be present at the ceremony rehearsal run-through?
All of these things need to be addressed when you first ask them to be in your bridal party. The clearer you are, the better off your day will be.
(And before you ask, no, it’s not rude to be clear on the expectations you have for your wedding. It’s your day. And one day, they’ll have their turn.)
3. Poor Time Management
One of the top complaints comes from not having a solid timeline in place of the day’s events. Yes, your wedding will have a “flow” to it, but there should also be a concrete idea of the order those events are happening.
For example,
8:00am — Wedding coordinator and event staff arrive at venue for setup
10:30am — Bridal party brunch at First Watch
12:00pm — Bride and bridesmaids get hair and makeup done at Salon J, followed by getting ready photos
3:00pm — Setup done, reception space photos to be taken
4:00pm — Ceremony begins
4:30pm — Cocktail hour begins
6:00p — Reception begins
10:00p — Reception ends
Iron out a general timeline and make sure to leave a little room for people to be late, mishaps to occur, and surprises to arise!
4. Family Drama
Weddings have the tendency to bring out the worst in people, and your family’s not the exception to the rule.
There are plenty of things that encompass family drama, but I’ll drop down a few common themes I’ve seen in regards to weddings:
- Family members (most commonly moms) taking the reins of what they want your wedding to be rather than what YOU AND YOUR PARTNER want your wedding to be. This may be in the form of them adding guests to your guest list, picking the type of ceremony you have, or even, in the worst cases, hold over your head that they’re paying for your wedding, so you should just do it. (Even if they’re not paying, they’re killing your budget!) Sit down with them and have a talk. They may be acting this way coming from a place of love, such as, “I didn’t get this for my wedding, and I really want my baby girl to have it.” rather than malice or pure selfishness.
- That cousin or other family member that always tries to “make a statement” or “show you up”. I’m looking at you, guests that wear white to a wedding!
- Family members that fight and try to get you to pick sides. I’ve seen everything from divorced parents to feuding siblings. Your wedding is about your love. Don’t get wrapped up in the drama, and send people home when necessary. If they can’t put aside their differences to be there in support of your day, they don’t deserve to be there for it!
5. Guests That Only Showed Up for the Free Booze…
This one hurts because it shows how little those guests truly care about the couple.
Long story short, if you think they’re in it to get trashed, lose their invite. They’ll make a costly mess for you to clean up.
I really hope this helped you on your own wedding planning journey! Every day, I strive to make sure couples have a solid plan for a dream wedding, limiting things to chance. If you have a special event you’d like to share, reach out to me at the MK Events website! I’d love to help make your dream event come true.
Next time, we’ll talk about marriage proposals and how to make them as unique as your partner. (I’ll even share my not-so-magical, yet-still-hilariously-fun Disney proposal!) Stay tuned!
